Donald Trump: ‘It is my hair and it’s an amazing thing’

3 Oct

Hello, Mr Trump, how’s New York?

It’s beautiful here, beautiful!

Great! So you’re coming to London soon to talk about the secrets of your success (1). Can you give me some spoilers?

I’ve given a lot of speeches to pass on what I’ve learned, and they always go down very well. My secrets are to know what you’re doing, to love what you do and never quit (2). The tickets are selling great for the event. I’d be shocked if they didn’t as they always do. Well, there’s always a first time, ha ha ha! No, I would be shocked if they weren’t selling.

You’ve been very active politically of late (3). Do you think the Republicans are now regretting that you’re not their candidate?

I was extremely popular but I love what I do so I decided to stick with this. But a lot of people regret it, sure. I was leading in the polls (4). But I’m a friend of Mitt Romney, I think he’s a very talented guy. He is a little bit behind but there’s lots of time, more than a month.

You showed Sarah Palin around New York City last year. Are you still friends with her?

I am. I love her – Sarah’s terrific. She should have been given a bigger place at the Republican National Convention. I don’t know why she wasn’t.

You were very energetic about insisting President Obama produce his birth certificate last year, which he did to your apparent satisfaction. But now you seem to be doubting its validity. Why?

I’m not the only one – many people are doubting it. I’m certainly not out on my own here! I was able to get him to produce it – John McCain couldn’t do it, Hillary Clinton couldn’t do it – but I don’t know what it was he produced. Where are the hospital records? I’m amazed Governor Romney hasn’t pursued him on this.

You’ve also expressed some doubts about the veracity of his university career. What do you want him to show you?

He should produce his college records, like all other presidential candidates have done (5). If I were running for president, that would be a main theme of my campaign. The Republicans should make him produce these in exchange for showing tax records. I honestly don’t know why they don’t insist on it.

Do you seriously think President Obama is hiding something?

Possibly, but we may never know.

You had some harsh words to say about Kate Middleton recently, tweeting that she “has only herself to blame” for being papped topless.

I really like Kate, I think she’s terrific, but she does have only herself to blame for those photos. It doesn’t matter what the lawyers do, those photos are everywhere. Everyone in New York has seen them. Kate is going to be the future Queen of England and you don’t go topless if you’re going to be the Queen. Is Kate more to blame than the photographer who took the pictures? Yes, I think so – there’s just no excuse. If she’d had a bathing suit on that would be different. OK, she was at a private pool but what about the staff at the house? And there were all the hills and the road nearby – she should not have gone topless. I guarantee the Queen has never walked around topless. The Queen has never done anything wrong at all. I totally adore the royal family.

You’ve taken to Twitter very enthusiastically – how do you cope with the abuse?

My Twitter has more followers than the New York Times has readers. I have a newspaper – I literally have my own newspaper and it’s called @iamdonaldtrump. Literally (6). Now when someone attacks me, I attack them right back. I used to have to make speeches to attack people, now I don’t even have to do that. I only attack people who attack me or who are wrong – like Alex Salmond.

Alex Salmond, the First Minister of Scotland?

Mad Alex – that’s what I call him – is going to destroy Scotland with those wind turbines. They are a blight and if he keeps going with these things, Scotland will be reduced to nothingness. Scotland’s greatest asset aside from its people is its beautiful landscape and he is destroying the beauty. Wind turbines are ugly, inefficient and costly and taxpayers are subsidising his folly. Mad Alex has a death wish. He is trying to destroy Scotland, and England should stop subsidising the death of Scotland.

Right. Speaking of the death of Scotland, how’s the golf course, Trump International Golf Links in Aberdeenshire?

It’s going fantastic. I’ve always gotten good reviews for all my work (7) but the reviews for this have been the best. It’s the best thing that’s happened to Aberdeen since North Shore Oil [sic].

Everybody in Aberdeen wanted it – at our worst we had 93% approval. The press really missed that story – that people wanted the golf course. I’m going to go up there and play in a few weeks and I’ll see everyone who wants to thank me.

On a more personal level, I saw photos of your New York apartment (8) in Hello! recently. Um, wow?

My apartment is in the Trump Tower in New York and it was easier to build the building than it was the apartment. But it’s great, I’ve had some happy feelings there. It’s a very friendly apartment.

And finally, how many times a day do you get asked about your hair?

It is my hair and it’s an amazing thing. Barbara Walters interviewed me on her show, The 10 Most Fascinating People, and she tried to mess up my hair and she determined it was real. It is my hair.

Foot notes
(1) Donald is speaking at the National Achievers Congress, 5-7 October, London ExCel (2) Donald Trump’s companies have filed for bankruptcy four times. Not the usual definition of success but, as the man says, he has never quit and is ergo successful. (3) Trump flirted with running for president last year. This flirtation happened to coincide with promotion of the TV show The Apprentice, in which he stars. (4) Amazingly, this is true – for about a minute in April 2011. (5) Untrue. Trump’s best friend Sarah Palin, for one, didn’t release hers until after the election. Nor did George W Bush. (6) Not literally. (7) “Unlikely to provide the fond memory that some worthwhile extravagances do” – New York Times review of Trump International Hotel & Tower Toronto. (8) Three floors and $50m of gold, marble, ceiling frescos and winged cherubs.

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